Guruji on Marriage, Married Life and Spirituality
The old saying that ‘marriages are made in heaven’ has got its own significance. Most of the people who wish for a life partner, aim for external beauty, money, name and fame, and sometimes God does grant them their wishes. Seldom does one pray for a spiritual life partner in order to lead a calm and peaceful life. It is observed that the modern society overlooks peace and love during marriage, while giving preference to money and status, which are false and deceptive. In contrast, a spiritual person prays earnestly for a spiritual life partner and gets what he or she has prayed for.
From the epics we have learnt that even as a young girl Parvathi worshipped Lord Shiva for so many years. Finally, she decided that if she did marry, then it would be only Lord Shiva. Perhaps, it was the first love marriage in the Sanatan Dharma. Brahma and Vishnu were also married to goddesses. Most of our ancient Himalayan rishis were married men – the great rishis like Vedavyasa, Agastya, etc. were all married men. This proves that marriage never becomes a hindrance to the practice of spirituality. Instead it is found that loneliness may be a hindrance to spiritual progress.
According to Dharma, after marriage, the union of man and woman takes place and then they are said to become one. Singly, a man or a woman is only half an entity. It is after marriage, after their union, that they are said to be complete and an united entity. Perhaps, this is the very reason why most of our ancient yogis were married men. To explain further, when the man embraces his spouse, his Ida nadi encircles the Pingala nadi of the spouse, and his Pingala nadi encircles the Ida nadi of the spouse. The Kundalini energy then starts vibrating, thus attracting the man and woman to each other. Their combined Kundalini energy dynamically encircles the psychic bodies of both man and woman right up to the Sahasrara. This happens in early married life. However, later on, the combined Kundalini energy reduces, until it becomes almost ‘nil’. All these happenings are inside the psychic bodies of the man and woman. Man’s psychic energy consists of half ‘male’ or positive energy and half ‘female’ or negative energy. So also is the case of a woman. Hence, they are essentially incomplete individually. During their union, a circular form of Kundalini energy arises, encircling their psychic bodies, passing through the chakras until it finally reaches the Sahasrara. During this happening, there is neither the male nor the female energy, there is only a combined and united circulating energy.
After the union, it turns into a special neutral energy. This circulating energy has no beginning nor end, for it is a circle. This energy is ‘of the mind’ and so, it varies and changes every moment. Hence, harnessing this energy is not possible for a beginner, in the early stages of spirituality. Marriage is not a hindrance to spiritual progress provided one knows how to make the best use of married life with love and understanding. When both partners have a common goal to achieve, then even sex can be controlled in a married life. Almost all our rishis of ancient India had only one child. After birth of one child, the rishi generally looked upon his wife as a ‘devi’ or ‘mother’. He then entered into ‘sanyasa’ and also taught the same to his wife in order to live a life of piety and celibacy. These ancient married rishis were spiritually far superior to today’s celibate sanyasis.
The entire universe is the creation of the Creator with the union of male and female energies. Whatever you see or experience is the union of male and female energies. Hence, it is only natural that a marriage would help in making one’s spiritual life more natural and pure, provided one observes a spiritually compatible married life by emulating our spiritual ancestors.