Guruji I dont know the reason behind my unhappiness,But Iam restless,I prefer my own company.Is there something wrong with me?
No, there is nothing wrong with you. You are in the midst of a journey called life. In life, all are seekers. Some seek material wealth, while others seek spiritual wealth. In your case, as I understand, you do not have any craving for material wealth, anymore. You are also, no longer, wanting the company of people or the outside world. Instead, you prefer your own company. So, what you are restless about, and what you are seeking for, is all within you. Unless one knows oneself, one’s own body and mind, it will be difficult to adjust to the world outside. Balance your mind with a consistent practice of meditation. Eat and exercise healthily. Do not indulge yourself in any aspect of your life. Manage to live with nature, as far as possible, in this busy city-life.
When you are in your own company, make it a practice to engage yourself in contemplation. Ask yourself the goal and purpose of your life. Ask yourself – why have I taken birth? What do I want to achieve in life? What is it that I am seeking always? Concern yourself only with the present. Practise meditation for at least fifteen minutes, in a disciplined way, at the same time and place, every day. All the answers to your questions shall come from within you. By and by you will realise your own internal guru. You shall then start living an interactive steady life in the manner taught by your internal guru.
All you have to do is sincerely and dedicatedly carry out your practice of meditation and contemplation. Soon you will realise that the restlessness has disappeared, and that there is a steadiness and contentment in your entire bearing. You will also notice that you are no longer uncomfortable in the company of others, and that your level of contentment remains the same, whether you are in your own company or in the company of others.
So, the only solution for conquering restlessness is to find one’s own internal guru. Just as we pour oil into a lamp and light it when we need light, so also is it for each one of us. It is necessary for us to make the effort to light the lamps within us. Only when we make the necessary effort, will we be able to turn our mind inwards and light the lamp within. When we turn the mind inwards we shall find that an entire restful world exists within us, and that Truth exists within us all.
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